Through my confused eyes
by Confusedknight
Summary: COMPLETED.. This is a short fic set at the end of In the hand of the Goddess. During and after Alanna's duel with Roger. Raoul was her only close friend not to know her secret. How will he react? This is set in Raouls point of view.
1. A note from Confused Knight

-A/N-

Hi everyone please could you review this fic once you've read it as I would love to know what you thought of it. Do you think I should continue it? Or leave it as it is?

I've been meaning to write a fic like this for ages, Tamora Pierce skipped straight from the end of the duel, to Alanna leaving the Palace, with very little reaction about her true identity. I have written this fic in Raoul's p.o.v, as he was her closest friend who didn't know beforehand. I have tried to imagine how he must have felt and his reaction to the truth. This fic only covers part of the gap left by Tamora Pierce, so do you think I should continue? Please, please review:) and you will make me sooo happy!

xxx confused knight

p.s Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to Tamora Pierce, as does most of the text in Italics (which I have had to alter slightly to fit into Raoul's p.o.v)


	2. Through Raoul's Eyes

I sat there cheering as Alan looked around in disbelief, I felt so proud of him, he'd always been the small one and had been picked upon from the moment he'd set foot in the palace by Ralon. But he'd overcome this problem in his own good time, as he had every other problem set before him. Alan had always been short, fiery and was known for his excellent swordsmanship and dislike of social occasions.

At the moment Alan shook his head blushing furiously as everyone in the hall cheered and applauded him on finally becoming a knight of the realm.

At the feast later on I sat with Jon, Alan and Gary, it was a tremendous feast with the whole of Roald's court present. Lianne was also there coughing and looking iller than ever. Although I dislike social occasions as much, if not more than Alan, I enjoyed feasts, all you had to do at a feast was sit and eat with your friends, nice and simple. No courtly manners needed here, nor were there any girls nearby who I could be forced to dance with. We chatted about many things not that I remember them after the amounts of ale we consumed. Suddenly I turned around to ask Alan something and found he had disappeared. I thought nothing of it, he'd probably just gone to the bathroom or something.

I was talking with Gary and Thom, when Thom excused himself and he walked over to Alan, Myles and Jon who were standing together looking extremely uneasy. Then Alan walked up to the long table in front of the two thrones and he bowed low to the King and Queen, Jon, Myles and Thom stood behind her. I sensed that whatever he had to say it was not good news, I willed him to keep his mouth shut but Alan started to speak.

'_Majesty' he said clearly, 'I have done a dishonourable thing.' The great hall suddenly fell silent, Alan I thought, shut up, but Alan ploughed on. 'I broke into a man's chambers tonight. I knew this was dishonourable, and I did it anyway. What I did was wrong. What I thought to find-what I did find-was far worse.'_

_He placed a veil on the table before the King. Lianne cried out in horror, shrinking away from the little dolls made to represent her, her husband, her son and her brother. The King and Duke Gareth were pale; the Provost, peering around his neighbour's shoulder turned red with fur. Thom reached out curiously and then withdrew his hand quickly as though he thought better of the idea. There was no reading the emotions of Sir Myles or Jon. _

'_Shall I tell them where I found these, Your Grace?' Alan challenged loudly. 'Shall I tell them about the little fountain in your private workroom where the Queen's image lay under running water, wasting away little by little? Shall I –'_

'_Liar!' Snarled Duke Roger. 'Majesty, Sir Alan has long been jealous of my influence with you and my cousin Jonathan. He now seeks to dishonour me in your eyes by showing you these dolls he created and accusing me of casting such spells!'_

'_For what reason?' Alan asked King Roald. 'Why would I wish the Queen harm? She is the mother of my Prince and my friend. She has been kind to me. I do not gain by harming her, just as I do not gain from veiling the sight of those who could stop me from stealing a throne that isn't mine!'_

I was utterly bewildered what was Alan talking about, was he accusing the Duke Roger of making those dolls, what proof did he have?

'_Liar!' Duke Roger cried, standing and pointing at Alan. 'Do you deny you have the skill to place such a spell? Do you deny you have the knowledge, when I taught image-magic to you myself? You planned to kill their Majesties, so that when Jonathan became King, you would be the most powerful knight in the Realm.'_

'_That is very interesting.' Sir Myles looked at Duke Roger, his usually gentle eyes hard. 'Carry that thinking a step further and suppose the death of Prince Jonathan. Who would gain? I submit, Roger, that you would gain as the next King of Tortall.'_

'_It's a plot against me!' Roger cried, looking around him. 'Myles tries to turn you all against me while this young man gives false evidence!' He stopped, waiting for the King to say something. 'I demand my right. I demand a trial by combat, myself against my accuser. If I lie, Sir Alan will win by the will of the Gods. But I say I will win, because I am innocent!'_

_The silence grew as we all waited for King Roald's decision. _

'_You may have the combat,' he said._

'_As the accused, I may choose the time,' Roger said quickly. 'Let it be now, before Sir Alan's lies spread and poison people's minds against me.'_

'_This time or any other is of no matter to me,' he said, his voice bored. 'I Believe Duke Roger to be plotting against the lives of my Prince and my friends. The sooner this is resolved, the sooner they will be safe.' _

'_In one hour,' ruled the King. 'We meet in the Great Throne Room.'_

Alan, what have you done? I moaned under my breath. He had just accused Duke roger, the most powerful sorcerer in the realm and the Queen's nephew, of plotting to kill their Royal majesties. And now Alan had a trial by combat, with Duke Roger who was an excellent swordsman and although Alan was very good, he had just had his ordeal of knighthood and was probably tired and injured. Gods I was when I came out of my ordeal. Why did Alan have such bad timing?

I stood up and tried to make my way to Alan, but there were too many people in the way, all talking in outraged voices over what had just taken place. I went back to my rooms talking all the way with Gary and praying for a miracle that would save our small, fiery friend.

An hour later I stood alongside Gary, Thom, Coram, Myles and a heavily cloaked George. Jon had gone to stand beside his parents, his face very pale. I looked on to where Alan stood, I wondered how could Alan be so calm and a time like this, he looked utterly focused and concentrated and I had a feeling this was going to be an amazing fight.

Alan stood in front of their Majesties thrones, lightning in his hand facing Duke Roger.

'_Let the combat begin.' Said Roald quietly. _

_Alan and Roger brought their swords up instantly. They circled, watching each other carefully. Roger feinted at Alanna several times, never intending to strike, instead trying to draw Alan into an attack. Then Roger attacked in earnest, Alan blocked his swing and dodged to one side. Roger pursued the attack, trying to use up Alan's energy. Alan tried to dodge more and block less in order to spare himself, but the Duke was too quick. _

_Suddenly Thom on my right started yelling, 'Foul! He's using an illusion!' Meanwhile Alan gasped and broke, dropping to the floor and rolling away. Roger struck, cutting her shoulder open as Alan came to his feet. We all tensed up but Alan didn't seem to notice the cut to her shoulder as she blocked his sword as the Duke changed it to his left hand. Seizing the moment when the Duke switched swords, Alan lunged in, slashing the Duke's right arm. Making an impossibly quick recovery , the Duke lunged back and struck. Alan stumbled, and the tip of Duke Roger's sword sliced down Alan's chest from collarbone to waist. _

Something buckled under Alan's shirt and suddenly his shirt filled out. What the…? The whole room started buzzing, the duel had come to a stop as Duke Roger stared at Alan. What had Alan been wearing?

'_Halt!' the King roared, coming to his feet as he stared at Alan. 'What is going on here?' Thom stepped forward as Alan ducked behind a hanging curtain. _

'_You'll have to excuse my sister, Majesties.'_

Sister..? How could this be? I thought wildly.

'_You see, she wanted to be a knight, and I wanted to be a sorcerer. We traded places. I think I may have had the better part of the bargain; I didn't have to lie to people I liked and respected all these years. Here. I brought our birth papers. Her name is Alanna. We're twins.'_

My mind reeled with shock, Alan a girl… , no it couldn't be. I looked round to Jon, Gary, Coram and Myles. None of them looked in the least bit surprised, they had known. How could I not have known? Gary looked at me sympathetically, and nodded. So it was true. I'd known Alan… Alanna , for eight years and no one thought or bothered to tell me.

Alan…Alanna, stepped out from behind the curtain, her shirt was tucked in though the curves of her breasts were very prominent.

'_What have you to say for yourself?' asked the King._

Yes what have you to say for yourself, I thought. I felt betrayed let down, why hadn't he….she told me?

'_I hated lying to you,' she admitted. 'I wanted to tell; but I couldn't. Would you have let me win my shield if I had told the truth?' _

I could tell that Alanna, gods that name sounds so weird, meant what she had just said. And I reasoned, she is the best swordsman barring Duke Gareth, Duke Roger and perhaps Alex. Why shouldn't she have been allowed her shield, she has worked hard enough for it. But that still doesn't make it any less of a shock.

'_You demon! You lying, cheating.' Duke Roger screamed at her. Without warning he lunged at her, his sword raised. Alanna blocked him and fought for her life. Roger attacked like a whirlwind, not giving her chance to catch her breath._

_She brought Lightning up and around in a wide butterfly-sweep that sliced of a lock of Roger's hair. Switching her sword to her left hand, she attacked in earnest at last, bringing her blade down and around in the mirror image of the first butterfly-sweep, slicing Roger's belt. She came around with a back-handed slash that ripped open the Duke's tunic. Desperate Roger blocked and fell back as she came forward. Suddenly a large orange cloud formed around the Duke. The cloud expanded, and Alanna jumped forward;_

'_To the Goddess.' She yelled and plunged her sword into the orange mass that had Duke Roger at the heart of it. She pulled Lightning out of the Duke and stood there swaying with rage, fear and exhaustion._

We all stared at her in horror, Alan, Alanna, had just killed the most powerful sorcerer in the Eastern Lands.

We all rushed over to support Alanna, Jon, Gary, Coram, Myles, Thom and myself. I guess George had to go for fear of being spotted. Even Duke Gareth came over to see if she was ok, his face was white but I could tell that although he was disgruntled about Alanna's identity, he was relieved she had won. I being the largest of the lot, picked up Alanna like a doll and carried her up to her room. She was light and trembling if I felt any unease about feeling her chest pressed to mine, it vanished as I saw her wounds and her face and I realised that her physical wounds would heal long before the memories of the duel faded away.

I laid her on her bed as Duke Baird the healer rushed in. He soon healed the gash on her shoulder and her grazed hands. Then a serving maid came in, and we were all ushered out the room. When we were allowed back in Alanna was cleaned up and wearing fresh clothes. She was propped up on her bed and Faithful purred on her lap.

I looked around the group gathered anxiously around her bed, George had turned up again and I suddenly realised I was the only one in the group who hadn't known beforehand about Alanna. As I looked at her, I think she must have realised it too, because she said tiredly, 'I'm sorry Raoul, no one was really meant to know, but well Thom new already, I had to tell George, I needed him once. Jon found out accidently, Myles guessed and I had to tell Gary as he had to instruct me after the sacramental bath. I nodded dumbly, I wasn't angry as such, a bit hurt yes and I was still trying to convince myself that this wasn't all a dream. But I was finding it hard, eight years of believing one thing and then in half an hour expecting to accept one of your best friends who you looked out for and cared for was a girl instead of a boy. Well not even a girl really, a woman, judging by the now revealed curves of Alanna's body.

Though there is still so much to think about, she will be the first Lady Knight in over 200 years…. Great Gods above, that's why she was so touchy about swimming, obviously she couldn't swim so she wouldn't reveal who she really was. Suddenly I had so much to say, so many questions to ask, but as I looked down at her, I realised they would have to wait, because the hero, the Lady Knight who killed Duke Roger, was fast asleep.


End file.
